On Leaving the Nets...

One day as Jesus was walking along the shore of the 

Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers--

Simon, also called Peter, and Andrew--

throwing a net into the water, for they fished for a living.

Jesus called out to them, "Come follow me,

and I will show you how to fish for people!"

And they left their nets at once and followed him.

Matthew 4: 18-20

I have long been uncomfortable with this particular passage of Scripture. My beef with it can be boiled down to two little words: "at once." As in, "they left their nets at once and followed him."

I do not have an "at once" bone in my body. I'm typically a careful, deliberative person--weighing major decisions and running pro and con lists in my head until I can't think straight, seeking out advice from trusted friends and family, and taking lots of time to be sure that I'm making a decision that I am comfortable with. 

So, when Simon and Andrew leave their livelihood as fishermen to follow Jesus and take up the dubious new occupation of "fishing for people"--well, that's a pretty big leap as it is, and the fact that they make this leap "at once" is nearly incomprehensible to me.

I could better wrap my mind around this passage if it read, "And they took some time to talk with their family, wrap up their business commitments, and thoughtfully consider Jesus' invitation, and then they followed him."

I'd like to think that my more deliberative path usually arrives at the same outcome as the immediate response of those first disciples of Jesus--that we both arrive at "followed him" one way or another--but would I be a more faithful disciple if I could become an "at once" person?

I'm mulling this over this week-end, as once again this week brought me to a "come, follow me" moment--a decision point requiring me to renew my commitment to leaving my nets to pursue Jesus' invitation to fish for people.

I once thought that following Jesus was essentially a one-time decision that, once made, simply had to be lived out. (As if following Jesus could ever be "simply" lived out!) But the more life I live, the more I recognize that following Jesus requires a series of "yeses" to this fundamental invitation--small yeses that go almost unnoticed in the daily rhythms of life, and bigger yeses that require a deep breath and a recognition of the magnitude of the choice being made, of the two roads diverging and the one that will, ultimately, be not taken. 

And so I find myself thinking once again about the magnitude of the decision faced by Simon and Andrew--after all, leaving their nets meant leaving their livelihood, their family and friends, and all the things that represented security for  the unknown adventure of following Jesus in his puzzling invitation to "fish for people." And the fact that they did so without the advantage we as readers have of knowing who exactly this man is who is issuing the invitation, and where this adventure will lead them is mind-blowing to me!

Perhaps even more mind-blowing to me is the fact that there is something so compelling about the call of Jesus that I'm also prepared to release my death-grasp on my nets, and accept Jesus' invitation to follow him to destinations yet-unknown. There is just something about the One who issues the invitation, something that seduces even me, careful and deliberative though I want to be, to lay down my nets and take the risk, that says that giving up safety and security is worth it to explore what may lie ahead as I respond once again to the invitation to "Come, follow me!"

I may not be an "at once" person. But nonetheless, even as I take my deep breath and take one last look down the road that will not be taken, this week I choose to let go of my nets one more time, and set off down a different path, not knowing where it will lead, to explore this astounding invitation, following in the footsteps of those who have gone before, and knowing that this is not likely to be the last fork in the road or the last time I say "yes" to the call to follow Jesus without fully understanding what it is that I'm saying "yes" to.