Manitoba's COVID case count hit an all-time high today.
We are heading into the May long week-end with a new set of restrictions.
I am so tired. I know I'm not alone in this. But the weight of trying to provide support to others while having my own support systems tested for the better part of a year is taking its toll.
And I don't know how to feel anymore, really.
This afternoon, holding all of the complexity of the pandemic in my heart, I remembered the familiar prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
Today, these words seem a bit like the whisper of the Holy Spirit, reminding me of something important.
So, I'm trying to start here.
I am frustrated, but I cannot control other people's willingness to follow public health advice and to comply with restrictions. I cannot control the speed with which vaccinations proceed. I cannot control public health policy decisions. I cannot control the ability of the health system to respond to this crisis. I cannot wish COVID away.
But I can light a candle tonight, and pray for my friends and former colleagues who are working in our hospitals under so much pressure. I can continue to do my part to limit my contacts, wear my mask diligently, and get my second dose of vaccine once I'm eligible to do so. I can let go of what has not been done at work for a few days, and accept that using this week-end to care for myself will mean I'm better able to be productive by the time the new week starts. I can choose curbside grocery pick up again this week-end, instead of going into the store, to further limit my contacts. I can practice self-care as best as I know how. I can use Zoom, the phone, and social media to connect with friends a little while longer, instead of meeting in person. I can remember that this will not last forever.
Friends, please be gentle with yourselves. We're in such a hard spot, and it's all the more difficult because we are in this spot after more than a year of challenging circumstances.
It's okay to release what you cannot control, and focus on what you can.
It's okay to treat yourself with the compassion with which God treats you--with the most self-love you can muster.
And it's okay to phone a friend, or a pastor, or a family member, or a crisis line, if you need support right now. Please don't feel like you have to go this alone. Please let someone know if you need us to hold the light for you tonight, or in the days to come.
We are not alone. We are here for one another.
And this is not forever.
Love you, friends!
